fireflies and cottonwood

our wedding blog

Wedding hits and flops September 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — girldogtorch @ 9:31 am
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The fabulous Indiebride has a message board called Kvetch, where women and some men can share ideas and give advice on countless topics.  In the thread “Suggestion Box,” one popular thread is called, “What was a hit? What was a flop?”  Genius.

After their weddings, brides will come back to the forum and report what went well at their wedding, and what (often surprisingly) did not.  For example, often brides will report that no one had heard their vows, and they wished they had used microphones.  Or they will be surprised that no one used the guestbook.  Obviously, for anyone planning a wedding, this is a goldmine of ideas, things to consider, and advice.  Here’s an example:

“I’ve been to about a million weddings and here are some memorable hits and flops from those I’ve been to:

–Assigned seating. Especially when I don’t know many people, I hate the awkward hunt for seats. This is especially true if they haven’t given me a plus one and I’m there alone. 

–Something to drink as guests were coming in before the ceremony. I’ve had lemonade and cocktails and both were nice. 

–Doing something unexpected. Favorites: groom’s cake in shape of beer stein (he was of German heritage); bagpipes; homemade strawberry jam from bride’s dad as favors; unusual readings.

–A heartfelt thank-you toast by the couple. More meaningful than any favor.

–Couples who memorize or at least write on cards the main part of their vows so the officiant’s prompting isn’t breaking up the flow every three words.

–Failures of coordination on timing issues. A) last of guests still standing in line at buffet when cake cutting started; B) caterers still setting up when guests began arriving; C) long lag times between ceremony and reception at a location where many guests had driven and had nothing to do in between; D) waiting around forever (going on two hours) at cocktails waiting for pictures to be done.

–Not enough quantity of passed appetizers, so guests are stalking waiters coming out near the kitchen doors.

–Bride and groom not making it around to speak with everyone personally. At one wedding, I left without ever meeting the groom. I get he was busy, but how about a two minute, “Oh, I’ve heard so much about you, thanks for coming”?

–Bride and groom leaving too early. Why leave at 9:30 when your band keeps playing til 11? The party is over when the couple leaves, so it feels kind of lame after they’re gone. After I got all dressed up and traveled for these events, I was disappointed that things ended so soon.

–Music too loud during dinner.”

I think the best thing about the thread is that while I personally might get caught up in the things _I’m_ most interested in (readings, colors, food, ceremony) it might not naturally occur to me to think about things like timing, sound, flow of food…  It’s so helpful!  So, on that note: what are some hits and flops you’ve seen at weddings, including your own?  Or, things you wish a bride and groom would consider for guests?  Please advise.