fireflies and cottonwood

our wedding blog

Big hair January 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — girldogtorch @ 11:49 pm
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I got my hair cut over Christmas break; it occurred to me that this might be the last time I get it cut before the wedding.  And since I was with my sister the aesthetician, I of course began asking about hair extensions, volume, and how to make hair “big.”


I can already anticipate some of my bridespeople trying to talk me down from this (Jodut), but we so rarely have the chance to wear ball gowns, and bejewel our hair, these days.  A tight, clean chignon?  No, thank you.  A “bridal ponytail”?  Oh, no.  I don’t even wear a ponytail on _normal_ days.  For the wedding day, I want huge, Victorian, voluminous hair.  I’m thinking Keira Knightley in any of her period pieces, John Singer Sargent ladies, and women immortalized in Grecian statuary.



This hairstyle is wonderful… although, I might like it even a little bigger in the back.  



This is a pretty nice contemporary version– I like the falling-apartness of it.




Yes– this is very, very pretty.




A real Victorian!  Look at the height on her hair!  And look at her curves and creamy skin.  I love the delicate strap of her dress.  And isn’t she absolutely aware of how splendid she is?!




Another Victorian– I like that the curls are a bit out-of-control.


I think that I’ve described the way I want my flowers to be– lush, heavy, unbound, and very undone.  I think this also could describe my ideal hairstyle…but of course for the hair, it will have to be a little bit “done” to avoid falling apart over a long day.  

My dress does not have a full skirt, but does have elaborate beading; I think that because the form of the dress is relatively straight, my hair can be more full.  And, because the beading is ornate, my hair also can be.  Finally, my veil is cathedral length–I’m not sure yet where it will fit into all of this hair, but I’m sure we’ll find a way.

Images from,,, Livin’ la Vida Segunda, and, respectively.


4 Responses to “Big hair”

  1. eric Says:

    what will i tell my (hypothetical) 8-year old daughter when she asks why you use hair extensions? i can already imagine her saying “but stephanie is so beautiful, if she needs hair extensions than is there any hope for me?” do you risk generating insecurities in others, as you model a “more is more” capitalist impulse?

    our hair is a political statement and an ethical concern. of all people, steph, you should know the problematics of poofy hair: the victorians were the ones who popularized the corset, after all. granted, you want to look untouchably gorgeous at your wedding, but you need not look untouchably made up. and if there’s any example of a woman with big hair that has been pushed, prodded, and mass-produced, her name is Sarah Palin.

  2. mysi Says:

    i feel you on this blog post and actually, a couple of these hairstyles are on my inspiration board!
    in response to eric… the hair extensions are totally not what you’re imagining them to be in this type of situation. even though we are the most ourselves on our wedding days, many of us also dress the eff up. because it’s our greatest daay to live up our dress up dreams. the extensions would just be a piece of the costume, accentuating elements of style. it’s the same as wearing a wig to invoke the right “feel” of your image on that day. it’s fun.
    i’m thinking of extensions too, but if i can’t afford them, i’m still going to search and search for huge backcombed and beautifully big hair. i have plenty of hair in the first place, so this is so much fun for me.
    good luck with yours!!!

    • girldogtorch Says:

      Yep– I get you. My little sister has used them, and I’m totally aware of how just a few, just a little bit of extra volume, can add _so much more_ to the look. Yes, backcombing!

  3. Shelly Says:

    Eric, I don’t think Stephanie’s wedding hair is going to be the deciding factor in your hypothetical 8-year-old’s self-image. I agree with Mysi and Stephanie – weddings are spectacle, and spectacle exaggerates. It plays with – sometimes subverts – display, performance, costume, and speech. Also, fascinating that women and their “frivolousness” often take the blame from so-called radicals for their “consumerism”, i.e. investment in appearance, decoration, and beauty, as if those aren’t impulses modeled by tons and tons of human beings for forever, including people who don’t have many resources…sexism much?

    If you want to see something that engages the question of young girls’ self-esteem, I suggest this Dove ad: I would have been happier if it had featured a girl of color as the central “character” because the standard for beauty is, in fact, white and that is really damaging to young women of color. But it’s pretty good.

    Also, if you’re interested in intersectional oppressions, Greenpeace made this video in response:, which provoked a really good response from Unilever:

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