Rainy day beauties June 18, 2009

It has been raining here for weeks.  I have been noticing how normally grey sidewalks and slate roofs become multi-colored, dark, and sleek.

I was inspired to daydream about pretties in pewter, and grey.  An Etsy search with those colors brought the following:

 

Aren’t these felt pebbles charming?  For a casual winter wedding, I can imagine them scattered along table-tops, serving as cozy keepsake favors.  From Kneek.

 

 

This necklace from Clean Break is extraordinary, and not too frilly.  I imagine it with a V-necked oyster colored gown, very subtle and luminous.

 

 

Speaking of breathtaking, look at this darling little wrap.  I love the ruffles, and the lace detailing at the sleeve.  I’d love this over a simple black or grey dress for a party or rehearsal dinner.  From Mary and Angelika.

 

 

This necklace looks like it might have been found at the bottom of an old trunk full of books and maps.  From Pole Star.

 

 

And this incredible ring is both sophisticated, and somehow organic looking.  From Moon Faces.

 

 

Finally, this velveteen blazer from Bonzie has so many of my favorite things: velvet, trim, lace, hand-made flowers, and look at the beautiful button!  Perhaps perfect for the morning-after breakfast, with tousled curly hair piled high?

 

Who knew the never-ending rain could be so inspirational?

The sweetest flower girl in the world June 14, 2009

Next week, I will be spending a few days with one of my dearest friends, Amy–she’s my madame du honore, and her lovely daughter Maeve is our flower girl.  While recently unpacking, I came across a photograph of me holding a newborn Maeve Kathleen in the hospital.  And I can distinctly remember making the trip, on the way from class, and how small and perfect she was.  It’s unbelievable that she is know walking and talking, brilliant and school-going.

 

Given my old-fashioned tastes, it’s no surprise that my favorite flower girl dresses are sweet, simple, and romantic.

 

Look at this first dress, very simple, but so sweet.  I would only change out the sash so that the ribbon was much, much wider, and much, much, longer.

from Us Angels

 

This one looks a little tiny bit too prim, but I love the little gloves.  I imagine putting an even more voluminous crinoline underneath, and adding large blooms to the girl’s hair– that would soften the whole look.

also from Us Angels

 

Now– _look_ at this darling little jacket!  How Jane Austen is this?

from The Briar Patch

 

Or this?!  I’m totally smitten with this little capelette.

also from The Briar Patch.  I’m so torn between the capelette and the little blue jacket that I want Maeve to have both, for different sets of photos.  Or one for the night before, or something.

 

Clearly, I’m going gaga over these little frocks.  Look at these two heirloom lace dresses, also from The Briar Patch.

Perfectly darling, no?  And lovely Maeve has the most amazing golden-red hair.  These muted ivories and whites will make her look like some little faerie right out of a pre-Raphaelite tapestry.

 

Just one more– I’m absolutely smitten.  Look:

also from The Briar Patch.

 

Finally, I must mention Maeve’s little brother, Braden– how blessed are we to also have the most adorable ring bearer!   And how perfectly tiny Mr. Darcy is this?

also from The Briar Patch.  

 

_And_— what if we had a little vest made out of the Dunbar tartan, to match the groom’s family kilts?  How sweet would that be, peeking out from this perfectly proper suit?

Marriage in the time of Prop 8? May 27, 2009

(cross posted with Stephanie’s personal blog)

(Photo by Justin Sullivan, from Jezebel.)

 

Yesterday, as the courts in California were making and announcing their decision, I was reflecting on my own engagement and wedding plans. There are two parts of the upcoming marriage that I love and look forward to: the first is all the pomp and decoration, whimsy and glamour. I love dinner parties, fresh flowers, old pewter, dresses with bustles, big hair, yards of ribbon, candlelight, and gathering my loved ones… I love these things on a daily basis. A wedding celebration is the perfect opportunity to celebrate with all of that and more.

 

I also love the Book of Common Prayer, and the liturgical ceremony that surrounds the formal ceremony. The BCP means much to me, again on a daily basis, and I look forward to marking this milestone in the relationship between Matt and me, and in our families and communities, with a ceremony rich in history and language.

 

But. It’s such a privilege that Matt and I get to be celebrated with tradition and history, and others aren’t. In fact, others in our families, in the bridal party, in the groom’s party, in the choir that will sing at the church, in those planning the wedding with us… our lives are deeply connected with loved ones who cannot have the same rights as we have.

 

And. Last night, I was comparing this to earlier civil rights struggles. (I do see this as a civil rights struggle.) What if I were living and planning my wedding in a time where black couples were not allowed to legally marry. Oh, they might be able and encouraged to have a private party, to have a non-sanctioned person bless their marriage, but they wouldn’t have the same rights and privileges as I have. Would I plan the wedding I’m planning? No. If my black classmates and floormates and colleagues could not marry, I would not want to exercise that privilege– I would see it as a gross flexing of rights in the face of injustice.

 

And isn’t that what I’m doing while continuing to peruse tulle and cake, when I am unfairly privileged to do so by unjust laws? What if we gave all of our wedding budget to the HRC?

 

If you haven’t seen it yet, watch the “Fidelity” video. And add your name to the list.

 

And if your state has a “Defense of Marriage Act,” find your representative and send them an e-mail.

Cake Topper April 17, 2009

 

We made a visit back to the Midwest for Easter.  While we were at my grandmother’s house, we officially asked her about using the cake topper she has in one of her glass cabinets.

 

At first, we thought it might be really old, a sort of antique, but in fact it was just from my grandparents’ 50th anniversary cake in 1997. It is still cool, and a part of our theme of honoring our connections with our families, through our wedding.

 

 

ETA: Stephanie here– I just add to jump into Matt’s post, because I _love_ this cake topper so much.  I spied it the first time I visited Matt’s grandma, and I have to admit– I made a mental note  It is so romantic and old-fashioned.  And, because it was used as a topper for a 50th Wedding Anniversary cake, it holds special meaning– a sort of good luck blessing.

Lavender and blue March 24, 2009

 

In this lavender inspiration board, I love, love, love those full, lush flowers in the top left-hand corner.  I can’t even tell if they’re real– it looks like the most amazing still life painting. And look at the tiny flower girl in the center– I love that as an unposed, lovely photograph. Finally, look at the invitation in the center, right-hand side– what an interesting way to have the lettering, totally cursive at a bias, with the letters filling the entire page.  The color combination is also fresh: lavender and red.

 

Oh, and cool, sweet blue.  Could I pull off a blue gown, like the tulle dream in the center?  And I want the bouquet in the blue windowsill, AND those pale blue beads.  And I adore the white lettering on the blue stationery.  Can regular printers print with white ink, if we make our own invitations?

 

I think pale blue, with tons of ivory, would look amazing with the lapis dresses.  And with the touches of lavender.  Am I going to far?  I think when the colors are as muted and sweet as these, it’s impossible to overdo it.

Classic beauty March 10, 2009

 

I love this old advertisement from Ivory Soap for so many reasons.  First, we don’t have many advertisements nowadays that use drawings or sketches– ads today use “real” women– but they aren’t very real.  The bride in this illustration doesn’t even look like she has any make-up on; this is appropriate, of course, because the ad is for Ivory Soap.  As in, your skin will be so naturally beautiful that you won’t need any make-up.

 

I also really like the beautiful lettering, and the illustrated roses around the phrase, “The Bride.”  It’s so simple, and old-fashioned.  It makes me think of book labels, or place cards, or personal stationery. 

 

The greenery and flowers are also lovely– notice that there are fresh flowers on the bride’s veil, and we can see one of the bridesmaids’ bouquets.  The bridesmaids themselves look so sweet, and serene, and are sending the couple off with rice.   And the bride herself– the very picture of calm.

 

Finally, I really appreciate that the bride and groom are pictured together. Again, in many ads, and all throughout bridal magazines, it’s only about the bride.  Even in Martha Stewart Weddings, which does a great job of showing off the uniqueness and beauty of each couple, there are few photos with the groom, or with the groom as equally pictured as the bride.

 

I understand that the finery and choices for the bride can be more exciting than those of the groom…and that the consumers of bridal ads are mostly the women themselves.  But I don’t like the idea that it’s all about _me_ on that day, that I’m a fashion plate existing in a one-day fantasy.  I prefer the reality: that Matt and I are sharing a sacrament, with our families and loved ones around us, and _together_ are beautiful and glowing on that day.  Somehow, this old advertisement captures some of that sentiment, in lovely, muted pastels.  Perfect.

Things to Do in St. Louis: St. Louis Art Museum March 7, 2009

 

Changing the date of our wedding, from July to January, changes a lot of things. Stephanie, of course, is far more competent to articulate the stylistic changes that will happen, now that we have a winter wedding. I think for me, it makes my twill Argyle jacket more of a winner, but that is about the extent of it. But then, if I am looking for what to recommend to the out of town visitors coming in for the wedding, the season makes a bigger difference. Ted Drewe’s is less of a destination in the bleak midwinter. Here’s a place that is dear to Stephanie and I, the St. Louis Art Museum.

 

SLAM was a place both Stephanie and I loved when we first met, and we went there together many times. Like many St. Louis museums, it is free for the permanent collection, and has a really nice and diverse collection. Both Stephanie and I really like the contemporary sculpture The Breaking of the Vessels,which is in one of the main atria, but my favorite piece was a Japanese screen in the Asian gallery, which I used to go an look at on evenings when I was stressed from work. It rotates in and out with other large Japanese works, and hasn’t been there the last few times I have gone, unfortunately.

 

One of the things about SLAM in the winter is that Art Hill, which rolls down from the museum to the pond with the fountain, is one of the popular sledding hills in the city. I haven’t been, but it was always one of those things I wish I had done in the city.

Hair vines, enchanting combs, and other lovelies March 3, 2009

 

Given that I already have a cathedral-length veil to wear, I have to be careful about what else I choose to put in my hair– of course, I am all for festooning myself with all manner of lovely things, but a girl can’t wear everything at once.

 

A quick trip through Etsy made me eager to entwine my hair with fancy things.  Perhaps I’ll need something for the rehearsal dinner, and then for brunch the day after the wedding… for all wedding-weekend long.

From Esty seller Lulu Splendor.

 

 

From Etsy seller Miss Ruby Sue.  I’d like this one just for every day.

 

From Etsy seller Feathers and Frills.  This looks like little more than a simple piece of lace, perhaps with a ribbon at the back to tie it, but I love how beautiful it looks, without being over-done.

 

Also from Lulu Splendor.

 

I know more and more brides are going without a veil, or choosing other options: feathers, fascinators, hats, or fresh flowers.  I think definitely if we were still having a summer wedding, I would want to incorporate fresh flowers.  I wonder if the brides-ladies would like to wear something romantic and sparkly in their hair…

Serious color inspiration March 2, 2009

Once we decided upon lapis for the brides-ladies’ dresses, my search for all things deep blue-to-purple commenced.  Add to this a love of lace, gold, and texture, and you can see how my eye spied the following collection of images.

 

(Sigh of contentment.)  Beautiful, beautiful things.

Inspiration: pewter March 1, 2009

I described before how we’re hoping to use old pewter containers (as yet unfound) in the entry-way of our wedding reception room.  I’m crazy about the unshiny lustre of pewter.  It’s elegant, but not flashy, old-fashioned, but not ugly, and mutes the colors of flowers in a most romantic way.

 

Notice that a monochromatic bundle of flowers like this can be picked up in a grocery store for just a little– but they look amazing in this gorgeous container.

 

 

I never thought of using fir boughs on a table!  How lovely and perfect for a winter wedding!  I don’t think pine boughs are expensive that time of year, and I know a lot of youth and student groups sell them for fundraisers.  And, the wedding is _after_ Christmas, so perhaps we could pick up several swaths for a good price.  Fir, pewter, candlelight…  remaining inspired!